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ON A LIGHTER NOTE / ANDY SULLIVAN

       RUNSARDINESRUN






 THE TRUTH ABOUT GOLF

 GOLF ISN’T A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH…IT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT!
 JUST ASK SERGEANT HOLMESWORTHY…



 Sergeant Holmeswothy and his wife, Lulu, were   Things were going well, and the Sergeant was on   but if it works, it could save your round.’
 fast approaching their 50th wedding anniversary.   for breaking 85 as he stood over his tee shot and   ‘Go on,’ said the Sergeant impatiently.
 Both  being  keen  golfers  (the  Sergeant  and  his   peered down the Par 4 17th. His caddy imparted   ‘Well, you see the windows in the cabin, they are
 Mrs having won the mixed doubles championship   his words of wisdom, ‘You have been driving   both open and perfectly aligned with your ball.
 at their local golf club three years running) they   beautifully today, so the only advice I will give you   Hit a low iron, quite hard, through both windows,
 decided, by way of a huge celebration of this   is don’t go right. You need to stay left of that log   avoiding that tree on the other side, and you’ll
 monumental milestone, to go and enjoy a week’s   cabin over there’. ‘No problem old boy’ said the   give yourself half a chance of saving your round.’
 golfing holiday at the very place where the sport   Sergeant, confidently.  After a small deliberation in his mind, this was
 was thought to have originated – Scotland.  a make or break situation after all, the Sergeant
 He hit his drive, and would you believe it, his ball   announced, ‘I’m going for it!’
 They were having the best of times, playing a   sliced viciously to the right and nestled in the
 different course every day, including the Old   exact place where his caddy told him not to - on   Out came the 3 iron, and after a couple of practice
 Course at St. Andrews, and they never felt closer.   the wrong side of this cabin.  swings, WHACK! The ball shot through the first
 As the trip was coming to a close, they had one   window, came  out of  the second  window, hit
 more round to play. Their final 18 holes, of this   The Sergeant could be heard mumbling non-  the tree, thumped the waiting Lulu flush on the
 wonderful holiday, was to be played at the lesser   repeatable expletives as he trudged towards   forehead, killing her stone dead!  SPECTACULAR
 known Taggart McSweeney GC, situated just to   his ball. His wife, Lulu had hit the perfect shot
 the west of Aberdeen.  from the ladies tees and waited just behind her   A year came and went, and the Sergeant, in
 husband, as is golf etiquette, while her husband   honour of his dearly parted wife, decided to
 Once again, they were having a great time. The   and caddy worked out how he was going to get   embark on the same golf trip to Scotland.  a destination for
 Sergeant, not being as fit as he once was, decided   his ball back in to play.  He played all the courses they had played the
 to hire a caddy for this last round to help carry his   year before, and on the final round at the Taggart
 bag and  to impart  local course knowledge that   They looked at the situation from all the different   McSweeney, he once again stood over his ball   THE WHOLE FAMILY
 might  help  him  shave  a  few  shots  off  his  final   angles, and there was no easy way of getting out   on the 17th. By way of nostalgia, the Sergeant
 round of the holiday.  of this predicament. And then the caddy spoke   employed the services of the same caddy, and
 up, ‘I have an idea, Sir. It may sound a bit crazy   they knowingly looked at each other before   Its Sardine Season. When predators and spectators wait with
 striking his drive. Would you believe it, the ball   baited breath for the Greatest Shoal on Earth – the Sardine Run.
 ended up in the same spot that he found himself
 just 12 months before – to the right of the same,   Whales, sharks, dolphins, Cape Gannets, game fish like mackerel
 dastardly log cabin.
       and tuna. Pro and popup fishermen with families. All anticipate a
 They started discussing the options when the
 caddy piped up again, ‘Well Sir, the windows of   silver catch to feast on. A natural spectacular, the Sardine Run
 the cabin are open again, and I still believe that   can happen anytime between May and August.
 that shot is your best option’

 ‘Are you crazy!!’, an exasperated Sergeant
 retorted, ‘Don’t you remember what happened
 last year!’
 ‘Of course, Sir, how thoughtless of me,’
 The Sergeant, still disbelieving of the caddy’s
 insensitivity, exclaimed, ‘You must be mad if you   Sardine image courtesy of: John Lamberti.
 think I am going to take a triple bogey again….’







 "After a small deliberation in his         PARADISE
 mind, this was a make or break
 situation after all, the Sergeant
 announced, ‘I’m going for it!’             www.tourismsouthcoast.co.za
                                            Call: +27 39 682 7944 Fax: +27 39 6821034

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